SHEDDING A GROTTY IMAGE

This month’s blockbuster blog is not so much an observation or statement as it is a question. The question is – ‘How does BDSM shed its grotty image?’ Of course, in posing the question, I am implicitly implying that BDSM has a ‘grotty image.’ I would argue that within the broader community, it does have a very grotty image.

In posing the question – ‘How does BDSM shed its grotty image?’ I am implying that the community has a grotty image. I believe it does. My research suggests that the broader community views the BDSM community as variously:

• Unsophisticated – lacking class and refinement.
• Perverted – with people exhibiting deviant behaviour.
• Unhealthy – pursuing practices that do not promote wellbeing.
• Sexist – favouring men and misogyny.
• Blue-collar – a working-class pursuit.

In my view, the community is distinctly unsophisticated. By definition, the behaviour of members is deviant, but I would argue that it is not perverted. The practices of people within the community can be unhealthy – but it is not necessarily so. I would argue that while there are people within the community who are sexist (this is true for any community), there is nothing especially sexist about the BDSM community. Finally, based on research, I would argue that the BDSM community is anything but working class (it is indeed very bourgeoisie) – but the behaviour of many makes it look working class.

That said, I would argue that many forums like FETLIFE, and some events like Nefarious (when it existed) and the behaviour of many members of the community is most certainly unsophisticated, unhealthy, and working class. Deviant lifestyles are traditionally the preserve of the middle classes. That is far less so in this country – or so it seems to me.

In posing the question – ‘How does BDSM shed its grotty image?’ I am assuming that we can all agree that a grotty image is not in the best interests of the BDSM community or, indeed, the broader community. I certainly believe that the BDSM community and the wider community would benefit from a more positive image. I would argue that while I don’t care what anyone thinks of me, it is not helpful for this community to have a grotty image. It makes it:

• Harder for members of the community to talk openly about their life.
• Less likely that outsiders with interest will ever join the community.
• Harder for young people to get parental support to look into the community.
• More likely that landlords will not want to provide quality venues for events.
• More likely that the authorities will not give members an even break. 
• There are surely so many problems associated with BDSM having a grotty image. 

In asking the question – ‘How does BDSM shed its grotty image?’ I am suggesting by implication that there is a more constructive image that would better serve the community. I strongly believe that there is a more positive image or set of images that would benefit the BDSM community and the broader community. That image might involve components like:

• Diverse – as indeed it is.
• Exciting – as indeed it is.
• Edgy – but certainly not perverted.
• Healthy – which it most certainly can and should be. 
• Mysterious – but just another legitimate lifestyle.

I am strongly of the view that the BDSM community, which is not homogeneous, of course, can be and should be all of these things.

In posing the question – ‘How does BDSM shed its grotty image?’ I am also implying that a more positive image would be helpful. I believe that a less grotty or more positive image would help address the problems listed above. It would help:

• Attract people to the community – encouraging greater diversity.
• Make it easier for members of the community to talk openly with friends.
• Make it easier for members of the BDSM community to deal with landlords etc.
• So – what is your answer to the question – ‘How does BDSM shed its grotty image?’

Or am I barking up the wrong tree (or just barking mad)? Is the current image acceptable? Is there no shortcomings of the current image?

I would argue that a great deal could be done to create for the BDSM community, the image that will enhance the prospects of the BDSM community. What are your thoughts?

BDSM should have a classy image – or at the very least an image that encourages classy behaviour.